Sunday, June 28, 2009

Rainy Day Please Stay....

(Rain - Priscilla Ahn)


"Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain"

I like gloomy days like this one. I think they make us slow down a bit. Without the constant energy we get from sunny days, gloomy days like today provide us with an opportunity to catch our breath. To admire things in a different light.

I love the sound of rain, on the roof (especially at the cottage), on the street, on the lake, and on the car roof. I love the feel of rain, on my skin and in my hair. This feeling helps me to let go a bit, to have a little fun. To not care so much about how I look but rather to live in that moment. I love the smell of rain. I love the smell of the pre-rain atmosphere, and I love the post-rain scent too. What is that smell? Just the rain? Or is it the smell of the rain in combination with what it has landed on? The asphalt, grass, trees, flowers, rooftops, human skin. Anyway, I love it, and believe it makes me feel different, somehow. I can't quite explain that because I'm not sure what I mean, myself. But it's a good different, that much I know.

Thunderstorms take on a whole new level in my lust for rain. In thunderstorms, I find some sort of romanticism. Which is kind of funny, because as a child, thunderstorms were the scariest thing I could imagine.... especially at night time. It's funny what kinds of creations you can invent in your head as a kid. Whenever I heard thunder growing up, I somehow was very successful in convincing myself that it was King Kong plowing his way though the city. And each time I ran crying into my parents' room, they assured me that "Christine, it's not King Kong. That's great grandma playing bowling up in Heaven". And even though I know otherwise today, I still sort of believe that my grandparents are bowling up there (I come from a great line of avid bowlers you know. Grandpa Pastrak owned a bowling alley, which is were my parents met....).

But then you get the people who see only the negative in rain. How it has ruined their good hair day. How it has ruined some plans they had. I'd be lying if I wasn't disappointed here and there because of the very same things. Still, even if those things happen to me, if my hair gets flattened and soaked, or my plans get rained out, I don't sit there and resent rain for all time. Even when these things happen to me, I find it difficult to escape all the things I love about rain. Plans can be remade, and hair can be washed and re-done. Each rain, to me, is different from the last. After all, no one rain drop falls twice.

And if you haven't done either of run, dance, or kiss in the rain, you have missed out on some very sweet experiences in life which, through some sort of magic, become enhanced when skies cry.

I like to think embracing rain and rainy days helps us regain a little bit of our lost childhoods. When we were kids, and we approached a humongous puddle as we walked down the street, would we ever think twice about jumping right smack in the middle? I wouldn't have! As adults, though, we think twice, or maybe three times, about doing that. Oh I'll get my outfit wet. These shoes cost too much to do that. People will look at me funny.

People will look at me funny? Is that all you've got? Do you really care of someone sees that you're having fun? It's just water, and water will dry. I don't know... maybe it's because I work with children of varying ages and abilities, but through my work I have been able to arrive at a point where I care less and less what people think of me. I've learned to view and appreciate things from such a different perspective, that I now understand that most people aren't fully living their lives. They're following the status quo, doing what is expected of them, and while maybe achieving success in doing so, I have noticed that a lot of people are not necessarily enjoying the ride. Maybe finding it increasingly difficult to find fulfillment. I'm trying to do things a bit differently.

Starting with jumping in puddles more often.

... The sun can come out another day.

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Now playing: Priscilla Ahn - Lullaby
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Two More Letters

At 7pm on Monday, June 15th, 2009, I got two more letters for my name. I already had B.A., and E.C.E., and now I was getting E.A.. Combined, these letters make me look much more distinguished than I really am (Christine Pastrak, B.A., E.A., E.C.E. .... there's a clear lack of "M.A." and "Phd". Just give be some time....), but I'm pretty proud of each letter there. Each set defines a different part of my life, and each set shows the world what I am capable of.

There were over 80 graduates at Monday's ceremony. That may not seem like a lot, especially considering my McMaster graduation presented over 150 diplomas! But for the four or five programs in the Human Services Faculty of Mohawk College, 80 graduates plus two to three of their guests in the Mohawk auditorium provided for a standing room only event. The important speeches were made by the important people (VP's, Chairmen, the President, Alumni guest speaker, and so on) and then they presented the diplomas. Luckily, they moved through the 80+ of us pretty quickly. Best of all, no one fell on stage (trust me, I was waiting for this to happen... some of the shoes (outfits) people wore were ridiculous, and not very practical at all. I began to wonder when Mohawk started offering a program in walking in hooker shoes. I bet it's a certificate program....).

Right after the diploma presentation (which a bunch of rude people rudely talked through the ENTIRE time!), they announced that it was time to present the prestigious College Medals. To be awarded one of these medals (on bronze, sliver, and gold levels), students must be nominated by one of their program faculty members. In order to be considered for nomination, students must meet a list of criteria, most importantly academic achievement, college involvement, community involvement, and promotion and acceptance of diversity. There were 35 nominations this year, but only two recipients. Both were from a program in only its second year at the college. One was a silver medal to my friend and colleague Katy Hagar. She's truly an inspiration both inside and outside of the classroom. Her passion for assisting the special needs community in schools is exemplary! The second medal awarded was a bronze medal, and also given to an Educational Assistant grad. The recipient was beside herself when her named was called after the reading of her introduction. In fact, they had to call her twice. "Christine Pastrak, could you please come up on stage to receive your award". Ummm.. no, I actually can't. I'm unable to stop shaking at the moment. "Christine, you have to go up there!" said my next seat neighbor, Cori. Dear Cori, thank you for pulling me up and out of my seat and pointing me in the right direction

So eventually I did make it up on stage, where magically my father was there to take a picture of me with the president and my humongous award (I actually mean humongous.... it is a letter with the medal in the medal in the middle, and all inside a large official Mohawk college frame. Tres chic!). Then I had to sit on stage right next to the important people! And then, after the final speeches were made, I had to walk WITH the important people off stage! It was so overwhelming and exciting at the same time. And I did learn one thing out of all of this: I'll never make it as a famous person (I like to think I'd be a famous person at the Grammy's if ever this were to happen....). Why? Well, I didn't even have to deliver a speech or remember anything other than right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, and I was STILL like a deer caught in headlights! No, the famous life will not be for me!

After the concluding procession, Katy and I were swayed off into paparazzi land where our photo's were taken with the president and other "important people". I didn't even get to see my family until a half hour following the conclusion of the ceremony!

In the moment, I couldn't really think about anything that was happening, except for, of course, "don't fall, don't fall, don't fall". When I got home and sat down and actually looked at my award, I was able to reflect on it's significance to me. I worked extremely hard for that (mind you with out the deliberate intention of earning it. I worked hard, and as a result had been rewarded). I maintained a 95% average throughout my entire course of studies in this program. I worked 3 jobs throughout the entire course of this program. I spent an entire summer working with (I called it studying in real life) children with various exceptionalities at camp. I tired my best to encourage my college peers, as well as the students I encountered at placement. Coming from sociology, promoting diversity and acceptance is something that permeates me and my philosophy on life and living, and I truly believe I bring that everywhere I go, including my placements and college. I tutored and mentored four first year students (combined) over the last year, and managed to take care of myself through training for Around the Bay. My aim here is not to brag or come across as self-indlugent. I don't need that junk to make myself feel valid (my family [mainly my sister] and friends validate me just fine, and that's truly all I really need). Still, even I did not quite recognize how much I had done over the last two years in order to earn such a high and distinguished accolade. I am very proud of myself, and I don't think it is selfish to say that. I can see the differences having pride in oneself produce. When a student at Parkview has success with something they do and their pride increases, visible differences in self-esteem and productivity are greatly noticeable. Same with me. I'm pretty sure I went to sleep with a smile on my face Monday night, and woke up still smiling.


(p.s. I'm hoping to post a picture of my award, along with a copy of the introduction they wrote about me. Eventually)
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Now playing: The Smashing Pumpkins - To Sheila
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Celebrate We Will, 'Cause Life is Short but Sweet for Certain


I am infatuated with a man and his band.
Scratch that, it's pure LOVE at this point.

So last night my sister, two friends and I traveled down the QEW to the Molson Amphitheater to see DMB (Dave Matthews Band). WHAT A FANTASTIC, AWESOME, AMAZING NIGHT!

I'm a HUGE DMB fan! I first heard their music in 2000 through a friend at Copps, and immediately I was hooked. The music of DMB, I find, so all encompassing. It gets into your soul. The variety in instrumentation is unlike any other band: Dave plays his trademark acoustic and frequently his baritone electric (for pretty much anything from the Everyday album) and last night piano. Carter plays the drums, but he doesn't just play them.... he rapes them. He has got to be the best drummer in the world... when he plays it sounds like he has several kits surrounding him and he has 8 arms producing such outstanding beats. Boyd plays violin. Yep, violin.... in a folk-rock band. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! And it's sound fits amazingly! And then there's the teenage prodigy.... Stefan! (I love him!). Stefan plays bass. He was recruited to the band as a 15 year old, while at the time of recruitment the rest of the band were in their early to mid 20's, this being in 1992/1993. Yea, I'd say that's the definition of "good". But man, listen to Stefan's intro to "Crush"! And, just to drive the point of his GREATNESS home, I can tell you that in the early 2000's (I want to say 2002 or 2003... I cannot remember) he was voted #1 bassist in the world. He's also a babe.

Musicianship aside, Dave's lyrics are the best of any band I know. I don't even have the space to discuss this here, but maybe in a later post.

So anyway, the concert.... I had seen DMB one other time in April 2002 at the ACC, and as much as it was a life changing concert, it wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. DMB is best enjoyed two ways: LIVE and OUTDOORS. I cannot even describe how one's perception of music changes in an live outdoor environment. That's not to say that stadium/arena concerts are garbage, because they are not anything of the sort. I am saying that they're just enhanced somehow when outside. And if there was ever a venue to make the magic happen, it would be the Molson Amphitheater. Honest to God the BEST venue to see a concert in, HANDS DOWN, thanks for coming out, the end! I had seen several concerts there in the past: Bush, Ben Harper, Jack Johnson... and now the ultimate outdoor summer band!

A lot of people I know do not even know of the Dave Matthews Band, let alone like their music. That always disappoints me a bit, I guess because I do not understand it. DMB is one of the biggest grossing bands (does that phrasing make sense?), and that is pretty much JUST from touring. They don't put out an album every year, but they do tour every year. And the sheer volume of fans who attend their concerts is mind blowing! My sister and I took the Go Train to the concert, and it was unbelievable the amount of people who got on at each stop to see Dave. HEARDS of people!

And there's something about DMB fans.... Natalie, who I was so happy I got to give the two extra tickets to (she brought a friend of hers from work, and who as it turned out, I went to high school with [haha, I may or may not have "poked" fun at his winter boots in grade 9 french...]) and I were talking about it. About how everyone who comes to see DMB is on the save sort of wave length. Natalie calls it "hippies at heart", and I do kind of agree (and not just because of the amount of denim, plaid, and Birkenstock's, haha). I think everyone there is just totally into the music and what it gives them. There's no "unruly" behaviour.. everyone is super friendly. I met a bunch of guys in the merchandise line and we just totally were going on about the band and life, it was so cool. There was no "I'm going to push you out of my way because I don't know you" as I've seen at other concerts. These guys actually let me in front of them in line! It's just an amazing, positive atmosphere incomparable to any other concert I've been to. Which is a lot.

He opened with "Funny The Way It Is" from the new album (CHECK IT OUT! It's such a return to early DMB), which was the perfect way to get things started. And he pulled out his regular show stopping stunts: extended intro's/bridges/conclusions to songs, improvs with lyrics and songs, and let the crowd sing in his place. IT WAS AMAZING! Best of all, I FINALLY got to see Crash Into Me played LIVE! (it's my favourite DMB song. I've included the video I took [actually the video my sister took because I had a couple drinks and was too .. uh.. "happy"... to handle my camera]), so watch it!

I was so glad Natalie came! When I found out I would have two extra tickets, I was a bit discouraged at first. Like I said, not many people I know know or like DMB, so I had a moment of panic. I was SO GLAD to remember Natalie's on par infatuation turned love for DMB as me! And I couldn't imagine giving them to anyone else. It is so amazing to experience a concert of a band you love with another person who loves the music just as much! We sang, we danced, we screamed.... She's so the person I'm going with next time!

Now that it's over, I've been trying to look into prices for time machines so I can go back and relive it all. That's the only sucky part about these things... all this build up and anticipation, and it's over before you know it. This is why it's SO important to enjoy every moment handed to you (in all aspects of life)! My pictures aren't the greatest, but that's ok. It was the BEST night, and I don't think I'll be forgetting it anytime soon!

I'm really lucky :)

[this is where the video was scheduled to upload, but it was taking forever to do..... my apologies for blogspot's difficultness :-( ]





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Now playing: Dave Matthews Band - Time Bomb
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, June 7, 2009

10 Reasons to Smile :-)

I've got nothing to complain about lately....

10.) Lorena, her saying excuse me for belching in Nemo's (yes, the fish) face, and her mail from Ariel! (note: often, I compose a letter for her from one of her favourite characters. First Troy, then the Mona Lisa. Yesterday, Ariel).
9.) Potentially getting a new vehicle this week [*cross your fingers, toes, eyes and anything else crossable for me! I'm SOOOOOO ready to bid the HSR bon voyage!*]!
8.) Tool is playing at the Amphitheater in August!
7.) I can make really good egg salad now!
6.) My Road ID FINALLY came in the mail! (I love it and it's pink'ness, even though it says Hamilton, Ontario, USA)
5.) Flight of the Concords! (Watch this!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ti4M6cc_-o&feature=related)
4.) The older sister's cats are leaving soon! :D!!
3.) Relay for Life Friday afternoon/evening until Saturday at 7am!
2.) Wonderland with Parkview on Thursday!
1.) DAVE MATTHEWS BAND CONCERT ON TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!! :D

:-)

Monday, June 1, 2009

Dragon's Myth

On dragon wings I fly,
With lightening flashes
in my eyes,
As thunder rolls across
the sky.

Upon the wind I soar,
With firey breath and
dragon's roar,
Beyond tomorrow
through the door.

On a moonbeam I flee,
To mountian tops
and deep blue sea,
Finally knowing
what it is to be.

For out in nature I see,
That all I need
is inside of me,
Because I am the one who
is the key.

Now I close my eyes and
count to three,
For nothing is as it seems,
and I know that dragons are not in dreams.