Week Nine - Luigi

Luigi and I were partners for a week last year as well. He was a totally different kid then. Well, maybe not entirely different, because he was quite affectionate last year too. But he was much less predictable. And if he liked something you had or something someone else had, and he got hold of it, you'd never see it again. Last year, at one point, Luigi had his eye on a little toy bird another counsellor brought with her to camp. It chirped (who WOULDN'T want that for themselves!). Anyway, I kept reminding Luigi throughout the day: "Luigi, bird is Sarah's. Play now, but give back to Sarah later".
"Yesh", was Luigi's reply.
BUT! Next thing I knew he had thrown it into the tall grass beside the canoe launch, whipped himself around 180 degrees and began screaming "no!, no!, no!....." and running in my direction. I managed to get a hold of him for the sake of safety (of himself and others around him), only to find myself being headbutted in my chest and being left with an impressive bite mark on my arm which lasted 3 weeks. But when he didn't have his eye on some prize, Luigi and I had marvelous moments together.

This year, we had nothing but marvelous moments. He had remembered our amazing relationship from last year quite quickly and we immediately bonded as if an entire year had not just passed. And he stayed with his group the majority of the time (last year I thought he was going to vomit in anxiety each time I included "friends" on our visual schedule. He played sandball with them and even SHARED! We drew pictures of WalMart and the things we can buy there ("toooooyyys. cloooooooooos [clothes], caaaaaaaaadi [candy], moooooooooooooooooovie"). We made one monstrous mess with paint and mural paper (and I swear I did my best to cover his clothes before the paint did. But I failed. Miserably. Paint was everywhere. In his hair, on his shorts and shirt... everywhere! And sadly, it looked like mud because in the end, all the colours just got all mixed up together. But what fun! I hadn't been THAT messy in sooooooo long, and it felt great!)

He was quite affectionate this week, as well. He'd hug me while we were waiting to transition from one activity to the next, we'd cuddle in the tent, we snuggled in the middle of the pile of life jackets. He loved to play with my pony tail as he drifted off to sleep (which, being sick, he did quite a bit of last week).

Friday we had a rescue mission! Each day, Luigi brought a special toy of his from home. Friday it was a rubber (gelly-like?) snake. And it was quite blustery at camp on Friday. We were on the docks, lying on our tummies, and Luigi was wiggling his snake around in the water. When suddenly, he just tosses it out into the windy lake! "OOOOOOHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO, SCHNAAAAAAKEY!!". And then he turns to me and says: "GOOOO! SAAAAVE!!". So I literally rushed into a canoe, braved the winds and finally got snakey from the lake. When I returned snakey to Luigi, he huged me and said "HERO!". I accepted his praise (but then warned that next time snakey would be living in Lake Chippewa if it happened agian!).

We counted down every minute for a half an hour for the party on Friday (a party in honour of Zachary). The entire time he just sat in the office eyeballing all the treats. And each minute we got closer from five, he jumped up and down and gave me a humongous hug! At 2:30, I told him to go out and announce "PARTY TIME!". So he did: "PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (and then, by himself, he carried 75% of the treats to the party tables close to the Junior Forest).

Luigi has always been one of my favourite campers, and I was SO glad to work with him again this year. What a difference a year makes, though. The above picture is of Luigi and myself on theme day last year (in one of our more cuddly moments). I love him.

Next week is the last of the summer at camp. I was supposed to work with Zachary, but circumstances have made that impossible. Zach's parents wanted the spot to go to another HH camper who would enjoy another week at camp. And so, next week, I get to hang out with Nathaniel! I've worked with Nat in the past as well, and I am SUPER pumped for this coming week.

(On a side note: I ran 54 kilometers this week. I'm so excited for the marathon!)

Zachary Maida ~ December 12, 1993 - August 23, 2009

CRESMOUNT FENNELL
MAIDA, Zachary David
August 23, 2009


MAIDA, Zachary David Suddenly and unexpectedly, at McMaster University Medical Centre on Sunday, August 23, 2009, in his 16th year, embraced in the Arms of Jesus. Treasured sweetheart to his parents Lorraine and Dave Maida. Best friend of sister Rosanne. Nurtured and loved by Don and Pauline Farraway. Forever cherished by Nonno and Nonna Frank and Antoinetta Maida and grandparents Frances and Andy DeVrye (of Simcoe). Touched the lives of aunts, uncles, cousins and many friends. Zachary was the most dedicated member of Barney's Fan Club. Forgotten are his physical struggles and challenges, always remembered will be his joy for life. Friends may call at the CRESMOUNT FUNERAL HOME, 322 Fennell Avenue East on Wednesday from 6-8 p.m. Funeral Service from West Highland Baptist Church, 1605 Garth Street on Thursday at 1 p.m. Interment Mount Hamilton Cemetery. Memorial donations may be made to Autism Society of Ontario, Hamilton Branch or Make a Wish Foundation of Toronto.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zach was my first ever camper with YMCA Helping Hands. I loved him very much.
He taught me so much that I can now never repay.

Zach was the BEST jumper! (I learned this evening that he actually received an award for this amazing talent <3 ). He could impersonate Barney to an uncanny degree, and recite any episode on demand (in particular, we recited bits and pieces of "Barney's Birthday" repeatedly during our week at Chippewa last year. He was both my first and last camper of summer 2008). He loved The Count from Sesame Street, as well as The Muppets (Muppets Treasure Island, as I learned earlier this summer). Recently, he got into Who Wants to be a Millionaire, and saying "you loose, owwwww".

Zachary was a handsome young man with so much to offer his world. The line to pay respects tonight was not so surprisingly extremely lengthy.

The world is at quite a loss with the passing of Zachary Maida.

Rest in Peace Zach.

Week Eight - Robert is a Runner?

We just ended what was the most stinkin' hot week at camp all summer. Everyone has been complaining: "Enough with the cool, when is it going to get hot?". There people, you got your wish. Along with a whole lot of humidity to make things especially uncomfortable. Personally, I have LOVED this overall cooler, wetter summer. My favourite seasons are fall first, then winter. This hot stuff can go away forever for all I care.

My week with Kevin was pretty chill, so I was due for a challenge. Only at the start, walking into this week, I didn't realize it was going to be a challenge. I know Robert from Y Kids, and I've never seen him run that fast.... or at all. I think was paired with him for that reason though.... being a runner, of anyone, I was likely his most capable opponent! So I greeted him as I do with all my campers on Monday morning, and we just walked around for a short while before flagpole. He stops just outside the breezeway, where the cement turns to stones, then turns to grass. He looks left, to the jr. forest. THEN BOLTS. He's quite spindly (a pure bag of bones, to be exact), and he isn't very tall. But the boy can run! Fast. And far. And Monday morning was disgustingly hot and humid, even at 9:15am. I would like to thank my long legs for creating a challenge for Robert this week. They let me catch up with him quite quickly (I was pleasantly surprised with myself!) so that I could redirect his behaviour. By Wednesday, though, the running wasn't as much an issue (did he realize he couldn't get away from me maybe?).

Robert is a precious individual. His soft, pre-pubsecent voice melts your heart. He is a parrot... whatever you say, he says back (for example, when getting changed for or after swimming, and I directed him: "shirt off", Robert would repeat "shirt off"...... Good boy Robert! "Good boy Robert", etc). He can be quite cuddly when he wants to, and his tininess fits right into your arms to hold and protect. He'll often recite dialogue from the movies or shows he watches, although they sound most incoherent and inaudible (while Robert has the ability to speak, he would till be considered "non-verbal" in that he possesses only a very limited vocabulary or phrase repertoire, and when he "speaks" with anyone the "conversation" lasts no more than 7-10 seconds). He is the best jumper at swimming, as he jumps from the picnic table into the water like a frog, and continues the frog jump several times in the water where he lands before doing the whole process 67 times more.

He loves archery, but canoeing remains his first love. We'd take all morning long canoe excursions around the lake. He'd happily sit in the canoe, taking in the fresh air, forresty sights, and greeting each canoe that passed us with other kids from camp. He also loved the sensorial satisfaction of grabbing the aquatic weeds that have risen to the surface of the water. Eww much? Yeah , a bit.

He is very helpful. Each day, Robert found himself running back and forth and back and forth and back and forth from the canoe launch area to the shed, carrying one paddle and one life jacket each time to put away (he would have gladly done this all day). And each time he hung one jacket up and added another paddle to the shed pile, he'd come out, look at me, and say "good job Robert, thaaaaaaaank you, thank you". A little sneaky of him though.... this was actually his plan to say "bye bye canoe". If it was bye bye canoe, Robert could go "bus? bus?".

Bus at 3:30 Robert. First play, then bus.

Next week: Luigi <3

August 15, 2009

I've had this interesting.... no, peculiar..... feeling the last couple weeks.
And it's been challenging trying to pinpoint what it actually is and where it has come from.
It's uncomfortable. Suffocating. Annoying. Relentless.
It can become muted for short periods of time (work provides tremendous relief in this sense, because it shows me so many happy and wonderful things), but then it comes back.
Anxiety's a bitch.

So I am sort of a human juke box. My cd library, in combination to my downloaded music library, is extensive. EXTENSIVE.
Most times I go on the computer, I use my laptop. This morning I opted for the desk top. As usual, I immediately opened my media player to listen to some music (there is not a single thing I do that does not involve music) and re-discovered all the play lists I haven't listened to on here for so long.

I came upon this song, which I have such strong, vivid imagery associated with. I was very obsessed with it in second year of Mac. I listened to it on repeat any chance I could get. Sometimes a song just strikes me SO much, I become quite overwhelmed with it and unable to put it down. And as a result it becomes associated with a lot of things that I have done. That's what this song did to me. But it is so strange and interesting to me in how music affects one's brain to such an extent that they feel they are actually back in the very moment they first listened to the piece. When I hear this song, I can feel the crisp fall air, I can see myself sitting on that bench outside Burke Science at Mac, wearing my rose toque with the flower and my pink scarf, I can see my Social Psychology notes.

And then it hit me. That's what this feeling is. A longing turn back time. To where I felt safer. To where I could predict things better.

And I know that change is good. I'm just terrible at dealing with it. I am a person of routine and habit. I like the things that I like and that's that. I like to do the things that I do, and that is that. And I understand that we cannot maintain our habits and routines forever and ever because we will never grow and develop as human beings. I sometimes wish we could though.

Now I've been listening to the song all morning.

The song has certainly enlightened me to some of what this feeling I've been experiencing is all about, but I know there's a whole lot more to it than that. More corners to turn leading to more doors to open to see what's inside that is grating at me.

If I could have just one wish, it would be to not have GAD.

Week 7 - Sweet, Sweet Kevin and the Slinky

He doesn't say much at all. When he does it is often a low, almost whisper-like utterance ("yesh pleash"). But his face is beyond expressive. Using just his eyes, he can tell you exactly whether or not he is happy, sad, feeling sick, or finds humour in something.

He's a little bionic man. He has braces on each of his legs, but happily this year the arm brace was not required. Walking can be a challenge most of the time, and he has the use of only one of his arms. There is a lengthy scar on his skull from the operation where the shunt was put in his head to drain the excess cerebral spinal fluid from his brain, but his thick head of brown hair has come to cover most of it. Most of all, he is magnificent!

He rests a lot. On the bus he enjoyed sleeping on my lap or shoulder. At camp he liked to get out of the chair and sit on the bench and lay on me for a small snooze. Other times we'd spread out a blanket and lie under the trees.

He loves Slinky's, and I bought him one early in the week. Flashy red, the last of it's kind (what a lucky find). He loved it when I made sound effects for the actions we did with it (although, I will give Colin the prize for best in making the sound "boooiiiiiiinnnnnnnng"). I'd latch the last rung onto the visor of the jogger (a wheelchair of sorts) and he'd grab on to the rest of it and pull down until finally....woah!.... it all came down and surprised us both! We did this for HOURS over the past week, and each time it was as if it was the first. The excitement on his face, the silent laughter (where I only knew he was laughing based on the gasps of air he would take), and him handing the slinky back to me to re-attatch it to the visor made my week.

He didn't want to swim much this week, though. So I would lift him from the jogger and carry him to the picnic table in the water ("bench pleash") (the lifeguards stand on these for supervision in the water). He would happily sit there and throw objects to me to fetch. The slinky was great in the water because it sunk, and I would pretend to be unable to find it and offer him sand and rocks instead (of course, he'd look at me like "what are you doing lady, it is right there"). He would sometimes give me a pretend "achoo", when I would throw myself over into the water and come back to splash him. The delight on his face warmed me so much (and I know I say almost the same things about all the campers and students I tend to meet along the way, but each one does this in their own unique way. If you work in the field I work in, maybe you'll understand. But I apologize for being unable to explain the complexities of this phenomenon to those readers who do not understand what I am trying to say here. All I can say is that I am very lucky).

He walked allllll the way to archery and alllllll the way back on Thursday (with some assistance from me). I was proud of him for doing this even in the heat and humidity.

Sadly he did not come to camp on Friday (he was going to watch the waves on the beach with his family while camping up north!), and everyone missed him (perhaps Kylie most).

But he had a wonderful last week at camp and he will be missed.

Next week: Robert!

Week Six - The Mona Lisa

Last week the Mona Lisa returned to Chippewa. She did soooooooooooooooooooo well! Archery two days (and more than just 3 arrows each time!)!! Canoeing everyday, including one day of her having to sit on the floor rather than the front seat (*GASP!*). Crafts of fish and fishing poles, birthday cards x2, necklaces, lady bugs, and jazzy kitty tails (for Peppy....). So much cooperation and a ton of positivity in her participation. It was great from my side because she easily agreed to going to the washroom and transitioning between activities (and here I will give a humongous kudos to the Disney people for inventing High School Musical and along with it Troy Bolton. Also, thank you Jesus for 'raw, uncooked bacon' and making it so effing hilarious to my Mona Lisa friend).

The challenges were minimal, but sort of serious at that. Like walking to far ahead of me in public areas of the conservation area and down the bus path. I think once kids get used to you, once they figure out your in's and out's and that you're a fun person who can be goofy, maybe you don't care about safety so much either. Not so. I was forced to bring out my angry voice twice this week so as to make her understand the risks of not staying with me as we travel from A to B to C to.... throughout our day at camp (i.e. Stranger Danger, getting lost, getting hit by a bus or car, etc). But as I said, the challenges of this week with her were greatly outweighed by the awesomeness that made for the remainder of our time!

On Friday, she transformed into Peppy... a cat which was painted on her face by Rebecca and looked suuuuuuuuuuuuper cute! She was so proud of herself and her new look, as well as her tail. She also painted the faces of Rebecca and myself (I asked for whiskers but football player patches under my eyes, haha). And brought our painted faces to the birthday party for Kim and Mr. Ilovewalmart (I detected jealousy from the other unpainted faces there.. you know, because we looked so super amazing). The walk down the bus path of Friday was spectacular (maybe because I weighted her down by making her carry her own school bag for once!).

Next week I feel very, very lucky to have Kevin (Kylie, I'm not sure I will live up to your awesomeness with him, but hopefully he doesn't dislike it too much!)

"Look, daddy bought you gum. You can have a piece if you want, do you?"
Yep, daddy said you can have one in the morning and one in the afternoon. But that's it, you don't want a tummy ache, right?
(3 minutes later)
Lorena open your mouth so I can see your gum, I wanna see what it looks like
"Did you swallow it, is that what you did? Awwwweee.... now you're gonna have a bubble inside you!"

Week Five - Cameron's Sing -A-Long

Is it wrong to have favourites?
(Probably)
A little unethical, right?
(Yeppers)
Well what if all your kids are your favourite, but just one is your favourite favourite?
(You're really trying hard here, eh?)

Well anyway, this past week was by far my faaaaaaaaaavourite of summer 2009. Cameron is 15 and no less than 6' tall. He is incredibly artistic and loooooooooves music. In fact, he loves a lot of the music I love, thereby making us a match made in heaven!

Cam is an amazing individual. He has a verbatim memory of various shows and books he has seen or read and can pull them out and repeat them on demand. For instance, on Monday we took a walk to the Specialty side of camp. When we got there, he noticed a "stage" in the parking log (this was actually an old dock that had been replaced by a new one). As we approached it, Cameron said: "Make a movie of me on the stage telling everyone about the true meaning of Christmas, from the seasonal favourite 'A Charlie Brown Christmas'". He stood on the stage/dock and began "Hey everybody I'll tell you what Christmas is allll about. Lights please..." (and when the imaginary lights came on, he squinted his eyes just like Linus does in the movie!). The monologue is quite long, but he didn't skip a single word. I'm lucky to have it on video to keep forever <3 .

So the music. Cameron loves music. I LOVE music. I prepared for him a new cd for Monday which included several of the favourites I determined he had during his first week back in July. Come On Eileen, On Top of Spaghetti, Don't Stop Believing, a couple classic Sesame Street tunes, and more. He loved it! The smile on his face was unmatchable in size, and I could sense his excitement as he learned what the next song was each time another one ended. He'd wait a few seconds to hear the first sounds of the song, look at me, and then start pacing the area clapping his fists (which is the way he self-stims when he's excited) and light up in smile. I loved watching him. He'd dance if I annoyed him enough with the requests, too. I taught him the John Travolta disco move when we played "Stayin' Alive", and then the YMCA for the Village People. We had quite the ensemble with Kim, Sarah, Cameron, and myself when Do Re Mi came on, and Supercalafragalisticexpialadocious was a tremendous hit. The kids in other groups came to love coming to arts and crafts, because that is where we listened to the music (quite loudly sometimes, haha). Cameron's music (all 3 cd's!) were the soundtrack to camp last week, and everyone was much happier because of it.

Cam watches a lot of Disney movies. My feeling is that recently he's been fixated on "101 Dalmatians". Or at least just the Cruella Devill song. I have approximatly 4 videos of "Make a movie of the Cruella Deville song in the Red Forest/in arts and crafts/walking to swimming/in the Canada chair" (each time performed in the exact same way, with the exact same emphases, the exact same expressions, and so on as the performance before it). I learned the words very quickly!

And it turns out that the Fred Penner classic "The Cat Came Back" (coincidentally also a book "written and illustrated by Bill Slavic") is a very long song! I also have video of that :).

Perhaps most impressive to me was Cameron's impersonations of various instruments (as included on the Casio keyboard he has at his home). Always to the tune of "The Cat Came Back", he'd ask "Which instrument would you like to hear?". Hmmm... The Jamican steel drums please. And he'd start the beat as the keyboard does "dun, dun, dun, dun..." and then break into his instrument. Can I tell you how ACCURATE each sound he made was? VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY ACCURATE! In particular, his pan pipe!!!! If you closed your eyes, he was playing a pan pipe! By the end of the week, I had been lucky to hear all of: the pan pipe, electric guitar, nylon acoustic guitar, Jamaican steel drums, kazoo, classical flute, and on the bus on Friday he gave me the bagpipes (complete with that drooping noise it makes at the end of any song bagpipes play).

Friday arrived and with it Cameron's last day of Camp Chippewa.... ever (very sad). We had a party with everyone from Helping Hands to celebrate his many years, only he didn't want to stay there, even if there were sour cream and onion chips bought just for him. And when I asked him to return to the party, all he said was "I cannot do that my friend" in a diva'ish accent (it was quite hilarious!). So we enjoyed his last moments of Chippewa together under a quiet pavilion. We walked his last walk down the bus path and said "Goodbye Camp Chippewa". While waiting on the bus, I was lucky to have one last music session of us playing the seat drums and Cam singing The Cat Came Back, and a 4 more pan pipe performances. His bus buddy arrived, which was my cue to exit stage left. I requested a hug, but got more. A kiss on my left cheek, a kiss on my right cheek, and a giant hug. It was the best moment of my week.

Oh. He also made me a cd. He called it "Hot & Fresh Pizza Pizza Celebrity Grouping 4 Track Set", and included just 4 songs (which I had previously included on the cd's I created for him): Come on Eileen, Grease Mega Mix, Tubthumping, and Stuck in the Middle With You. I've been listening to it all weekend <3 .

I miss him already, but cannot dwell. Other kids are waiting for me, and I'm excited to see what they bring.

Next week: The Mona Lisa Troy Lover returns! (i.e. Lorena ;)