Week 8 - Super Ben!

"Hey guys, guys, stop yelling at each other. Don't you just wanna have fun? Come on, le'ts play and have some fun, it's camp!"

Ben is that ONE in 6,000 (some experts say 10,000) infants to be born with SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy). He can only move his right arm and head "freely", and even this has major limitations. If his head falls off the neck support on his motorized wheelchair, he can't pick it back up and put it into place on his own. He cannot sit up unsupported or on his own. He needs to be fed through a G-Tube in order to ensure his stomach directly receives all the nutrients he requires. This tummy "B-Line" is also a direct route for water... 60mL every hour, so his bowels receive enough to function properly. He can be in constant pain and not tell you, because he doesn't want to be a burden. If he somehow becomes infected with a respiratory infection, he will inevitably get pneumonia and be at risk of death (because his muscles in this area are so weak, he would not be able to fight off the infection). Ben has already outlived his life expectancy.

What is SMA? Well, as mentioned, it affects only one infant in every 6,000-10,000. Spinal Muscular Atrophy is a disorder that affects the control of muscle movement. It is caused by a loss of motor neurons in the spinal cord and the brain stem. The loss of motor neurons leads to weakness and wasting (atrophy) of muscles used for activities such as crawling, walking, sitting up, and controlling head movement. In severe cases of SMA, the muscles used for breathing and swallowing are affected. There are four types of SMA, and Ben has the fourth on the list: Distal Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 1. This form of the disorder is characterized by progressive muscle weakness in the hands and feet, soon spreading to the limbs. Individuals with this type of SMA usually develop paralysis of the muscles which separate the abdomen from the chest cavity, which later leads to respiratory failure. Symptoms for this type of SMA begin to show between the ages of 6 weeks and 6 months. It is terminal.

Not that ANY of this stops Ben! To be quite sure, NONE of it stops Ben from living a life that is as fulfilling as yours or mine. Ben is not a regular kid, and this isn't just because of the physical challenges he lives with. Ben is BY FAR, the most enthusiastic, encouraging, respectful, brilliant six-and-a-half year old I have ever encountered. I have encountered a butt-load of six-and-a-half-year olds, too.

I met Ben and his dad early Monday morning under the main pavilion at camp. Dad took me to under the trees next to the canoe's to give me the "Ben Tutorial". In about 20 minutes, I had to quickly! learn how to lift him without causing any pain, feed him and administer his water through his G-Tube in his tummy (the "B-Line of Nutrition"),and how to use the "Pee Catcher" (which was essentially a jug into which Ben would relieve his self, but was actually a bit tricky to use. You had to slouch Ben down in his chair quite a bit so you could, in fact, catch his excretions, but in this process he could experience tremendous pain from the way his body bended or got shoved). It was a whirl wind of instruction, which I was not at all taking lightly.

The great thing about Ben was that he was not afraid to tell you if you were doing something wrong! Which he did a lot of with me this week.

Ben LOVES making friends and doing anything and everything with them. He never sits on the sidelines, but rather is right in the middle of the action. Even if his chair doesn't fit somewhere, climb something, or gets stuck... He'll find a way to make things work! This week, he made especially great friends with another camper in his group named Spencer. As soon as Ben would arrive and we got all situated, he would ask me to go out on the field to find Spencer so that they could talk about what they did after camp the previous day. As you can imagine, because of Ben's condition, he would have to tote along a variety of extra "baggage" everywhere we went. Among this baggage was his two back packs, his "Tomato Chair" (which is a soft and spongy chair you can put anywhere so that Ben could get out of his wheelchair and sit on the ground/in the canoe/at a table with his friends), the pee catcher, among other things. This was a bit much for me to carry on my own, and so I got out the red wagon we had in the supply shed to put everything in and pull around with us (too many trips back and forth the pavilion is no good). Spencer immediately wanted to be a part of this. He volunteered to pull the wagon wherever we went, and didn't complain about how heavy it was once. He also volunteered to push Ben several times when Ben was in his manual chair (for certain games and one loooooong hike). On Thursday, Ben and Spencer collaborated on the beach during swim time to create a "water drainage system" from the section of the beach where Ben was sitting in his Tomato Chair all the way to the water. Ben directed Spencer to dig here, dig deeper there, and had the awesome idea to make a waterfall. Eventually there were diversions off the main system route, and as Spencer ran back and forth to get buckets of water to pour on the waterfall and down the chute, Ben hooted and hollered in praise. It was such a beautiful thing, and I luckily have a picture to remember it by.

Ben is quite the dare devil! All week I called him "Evil Kanevil Jr. Jr.", because he would put his chair speed up as far as it could go, shoot off in a flash and just do circles around the main field! He'd chase seagulls or try to just do funny tricks. Sometimes he'd be going so fast and hit a divit in the ground, only to be left flopped over to one side of his chair stuck and unable to pull himself up (Christine to the rescue!!). We'd have a short talk about how much that freaks my freak and that unless he wants me to have a heart attack he should make a better choice ;). Then he'd shoot off again and have a fake flopping over. I'd run over, not knowing of his "trick", only to find his tongue hanging out and his eyes to one side, haha. When I made mention of calling the ambulance, he's quickly open his eyes as wide as can be and say "GOT YA!". This kid was brilliant.

Brilliant indeed. His positivity never once lagged throughout the week. When playing Elephant Ball (this is basically soccer but you have to hit the ball with just one arm as if it was an elephant trunk), and the boys began their banter about who was hogging the ball or why that goal should have counted, Ben stepped in and reminded them that "it doesn't mater who wins or loses, just have fun, this is camp!". During washroom times, he would even encourage me.... As mentioned earlier, toileting Ben can be pretty tricky... It becomes necessary to put him in awkward positions that may cause him tremendous pain. When it came time to pull everything back up and get ourselves out and to the group, I would always call an extra helper in to assist me with this. I would hold Ben up as someone else swooped his pants and underpants back into place. But on Wednesday, he had much faith in me. "Christine, you can do this. You can get my pants up all by yourself. I know you can do it, just try". So I did, and I succeeded. Just once though, haha. Thursday rolled around and it seemed that I wasn't doing the greatest job to keep Ben comfortable and, by the second time he needed to pee, he would ask me to make sure someone was on standby, haha.

I learned so much from Ben this week. In particular that I am very grateful for an able body and full control over it. I am grateful that I got to meet him and know him personally. I am grateful that he has had such an influence on my week, summer, and life. He truly is a Super Kid, and he's going to make such an enormous difference in the lives of everyone he meets.

Next Week: "No Tan Koo!"... LUIGI!

Kudos' of the Week:
1. To Luigi and Devon for doing their first every sleep out and not wanting to go home (after a while, haha)!
2. To Jackie for being a great substitute for Kylie and awesome counsellor with Zechariah
3. To all the counsellors working with the Hewitt's this week
4. To Kim (and me) for sleeping on a hard ground for the sleep out! Yay for the Princess Tent :)
5. To Jon for also surviving the sleep out, and taking those scratches and punches like a champ
6. To Vanessa for doing a stellar job with Nicholas
7. To Lindsay who had one CRAZY BUSY week of breaks!
8. To the person who invented mint chocolate chip ice cream
9. To Katherine who had better success with the washroom with her camper this week that I did last week
10. To everyone who had their last day yesterday (Danny, Farrah, Jon, John). It's been a pleasure working with you all. Stay in touch so I don't have to Facebook creep you to know what you're up to.

Week 7 - I'm On a Boat!

"I'm, I'm-a on a booooooooaaaaat!!" (Said by Rachel while canoeing on Monday morning)

AAAAAHHHHHH..... HOME SWEET HOME! I love you Chippewa, let's never be a part any week of the summer ever again until I no longer work at you!

This week I had the opportunity to work with Rachel. Rachel has been coming to Chippewa for three years now. Year one was quite the challenge. Year two a little better, but still fairly testy. So I knew what I could be up against for my week with her, also because I had worked at Rachel's school for 4 months this past academic year, several times in her classroom.

Rachel isn't a very active young lady. Perhaps 5x's as less active as Lorena, who sits around -3 on the active scale herself. Rachel did spend quite a lot of time with her group this week, which was pretty fantastic. During her past summer's at Chippewa, I am unsure as to how much time she did spend with her group, simply because she is quite possibly the MOST stubborn camper to ever come our way. If she doesn't want to do something, you are NOT going to make her do it. It will be a 8hr protest.... trust me. I make it sound like I worked magic with her... I actually did nothing of the sort. I somehow coaxed her into the Terra Trek (which makes mobility sooooooooo much easier with Rachel) to transport her here and there, but she got up and into the chair because she wanted to do something, not because I'm a particularly good convincer (I'm probably the worst out there, actually). But she did go, and she had a good time most of the time she was there. She played "sandball" (the ONLY game seniors seem to play!) and threw the ball over the net three times (and she was super proud). She canoed with friends three times this week, as well, and handled herself so well. She spent every morning with her group, and today virtually the entire day.

But the week wasn't without it's challenges.

The camp day is a long one for everyone, but perhaps it's the longest for kids for whom the camp day is longer than their regular school day. Camp buses arrive for 9am (some departing as early as 8am) and depart for home bus stops at 4pm. For a camper like Rachel, this day is far too much. Rachel's day at school starts around 9:15 and ends at 2:45. And even though dad was going to be dropping her off and picking her up each day (to avoid the early bus times and complications associated with the bus in general), her 3:30 pick up time was still a far cry from her usual routine of 2:45 departure. The day was too long. So by 12:30/1pm, she would be in a very stubborn mood, and it wasn't entirely pleasant. On many occasions this week, it became necessary for me to keep Rachel apart from the group so that she wouldn't cause harm to other kids. Other times she just wouldn't move her butt into the chair so I could transport her to where we needed to be. Still other times, she WOULD get in the chair, but would twist herself in such a magnificent way (better than any contortionist) so that she could grab and scratch at me as I pushed her across camp. That being said, I managed to escape this week with only minimal bodily harm! Still, there were times when I required the assistance of up to 4 other staff to help me get Rachel up and to where we needed to be: the washroom, flagpole, our group, canoeing, out of canoeing, or wherever. THANKS KIM, KATHERINE, KAREN, MELISSA, REBECCA, JEN AND KATIE!

On Thursday, a particularly challenging day the whole day through, I thought we should try making a sock puppet in arts and crafts. I wanted her to have something concrete to take home to show her presence at camp was not just one of a sitting duck under the pavilion. She was pretty grabby that day, and even though we were there doing the craft, I had her sitting several feet away in case she decided to grab me or anyone around us. It should be noted here that I needed to use NVCI (non-violent crisis intervention) in the washroom and under the pavilion twice already that day. I'm not quite sure just HOW she gets a person's hair around every finger twice in a matter of milliseconds, OR how she clasps her hand THAT tight, but she does. If I may quote Kim here: "NVCI works on every kid in the world.. EXCEPT Rachel!". I am here to confirm that statement. Luckily, I still have all my hair!

Anyway, I had been watching her deescalate behaviour-wise as "we" completed her craft, and I thought she had reached a point where I could reintegrate her in terms of proximity to other kids and staff. So pushed her chair over to the area where we could choose some googly eyes and a nose for her puppet. I turned my head for maybe, MAYBE, 3 seconds, and when I turned around.... Rachel had the tightest grasp of little girl hair I have ever had to break lose! There was no warning, no anything but me looking down to see my camper going in for the kill on an innocent junior camper who barely reached my waist in height. It took three of us to take care of this. Camper support to calm the little girl down and hold her hair close to her head so it didn't get ripped out. Me to redirect Rachel's one hand to hurt me instead of the little girl and both Kim and I to unclench her fingers on the young girl's hair. I hope that little girl got a freezie out of the deal!!!!!!!!

And then today was a dream day. She stayed with her group the whole day long, with a short break to listen to music and hang out with "the girls" at lunch time. She played camouflage with the group twice, canoed with two friends to "Dead Man's Cove", went to the washroom flawlessly (even when I had to leave to get items left behind), made another sock puppet (because first sock puppet got lost in the commotion of attempted murder of small children the day before), and she let me trot her back to the senior field for the rest of the afternoon. No fuss today at all, and THAT is how a Friday should be.

I'm extremely tired this week. Pushing Rachel in that chair was absolutely exhausting (she's a fairly solid young lady). The weather was pretty spectacular every day, and I loved it. But that breeze could have put me to sleep in the sun at any given moment throughout my week. This, in addition to Rachel's largely inactive week, made me daydream most of my week away. Several late nights didn't help either (I must admit though, that the social was more fun that I wanted to admit, and the drinks and conversation with Katherine and Karen afterward were wonderful). I trained pretty well for the marathon this week too, and today I'm just pooped! So my night will consist of eating pasta (22k in the morning!), watching a movie, and, if I don't fall asleep before the movie's over, sleeping for as long as I can before I wake up at 6:45 to run in the morning.

But even though exhaustion defines my life lately, I'm very happy. I just like where I am, who I know, and what I do. I am lucky to have everything I have: people, circumstances, and things.

Next week: Benjamin! NOBODY COUGH, SNIFF, SNEEZE, OR EVEN FAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Kudos' of the week:
1. To Kim for just being an amazing individual I am so lucky I get to call one of my closest friends. I love you so so much!
2. To EVERYONE who helped me with Rachel this week, in getting her places, helping to pry children free, or giving me a chance to step away and take a breath.
3. To Karen Francis for sharing so many awesome insights and advice.
4. To Rebecca who circled camp again and again with Sean, and let me look for snakes with him.
5. To Michelle for having to be the only HH'er inside this week.
6. To Kaliee for "integrating" herself into every "Show your Style" performance at the social.
7. To Specialty for producing and performing THE BEST "Show your Style" to ever be performed or ever will be performed. You clearly thought about this longer than anyone else.
8. To Farrah for being so strong at work when you could have easily just given up.
9. To Chaylene for being such an AMAZING substitute for Kylie this week working with Aaron! He really loved being with you and you were so wonderful with him. You did awesome, consider HH for next summer!
10. To Kylie for all the amazing thing's she's doing in Peru for the Peruvian families and children. BUT I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!

My passion is running... even if it hurts me!

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

-Robert Frost

(Suck it up Princess. Pain is just fear leaving the body).

Running has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Absolutely, hands-down, indisputably the best. Trail running has upped the anti on that by enormous volumes of "best". I started trail running this spring, and it was LOVE at first run. Previous to this spring introduction, I had stuck to the paved streets. They were reliable and I knew them well. In the past, I "off-roaded" only sometimes on the trail attached to the Kenilworth stairs close to my home, and the Rail Trail in the west end of the city for most of my marathon training in 2009. But it doesn't even compare.

We typically meet at entrances to the trails in Ancaster: The Old Mill restaurant parking lot, or at the Lions Pool off of Jersyville Rd. We do 10k on Thursday's, and anywhere from 15-25-30k on Saturday mornings. IT IS UNBELIEVABLE RUNNING! And HARD!. And often muddy! And one of the best things I can think of. The air is fresher, the atmosphere calming, the sights enchanting, the sounds stunning. So many times have I had to just stop in my tracks and take it all in. One Saturday morning in particular, where I was completing a 10k loop without any company, I found myself having to stop on three separate occasions to just sit on a log and listen to the song birds chirping away as they performed their morning duties. The sun was shining at such an angle that everything seemed to glow this pretty sparkly way. It was breathtaking.

There's also TONS of animals in there. Deer galore. Snakes (nearly stepped on one during one run, too). Chipmunks. Skunks. During one run just a couple Thursday's ago, which was also a run I was completing without any company, I saw no less than 7 deer in a matter of 20 minutes. They were either following me, plotting the stampede that would kill me, or protecting me... like in some sort of Disney movie where animals protect young women from the dangers of dangerous things. That night, there were no sounds to be heard, save for the sound of deer walking or trotting away in the bushes. The sky was overcast and there was not a single person to be found on the trail (normally I would have passed a couple walkers, or another group of runners or bikers at least). It was eerie, to say the least, and that day marked my fastest sprint to the parking lot I've ever ran.

But it's NOT easy. There's some flat spots, but the majority of these runs are up hill, down hill, quick this way, and quick that way. The ground is rarely even and a lot of the time you are forced to single file it down a narrow pathway because of some mud puddle right in the middle of the passage. The hills that make up trail running are the best hills for training, because they're steep and long, and some of the biggest challenges you can find ("The Three Sisters" is one example: It's three long and fairly steep hills connected to each other, each of which brings you to a new level on your way to the top. I'm pretty proud to say I've run these 3x's now without stopping!).

We all constantly trip on stumps, on uneven ground, in holes. The problem is I am a naturally clumsy individual. I have been known to walk into things with wide open eyes into things in plain view (not to self: ask doctor about potential inner ear problem). I've had many "near misses" since I started running trails, and surprisingly have been able to save myself from falling flat on my face and breaking a bone (I DID do this on a different occasion, however, when I first started running. It was a February night in 2008, and the parking lot at the Dofasco Rec Center was especially icy... I slipped on the ice and landed with my arm up and on my side. I fractured a rib on my right side, but still ran 8 laps on the track that night. And every week after that until now. CRAZY!). Today, I did not save myself from falling. Instead, I took part in the best fall I've had, WITHOUT breaking a bone (woo hoo!). Julie and I were nearing the last 1k of our usual 10k Thursday loop, and we were just chatting away when I turned my head in her direction, failing to see the large root sticking out of the ground. You know how falls often take place in slow motion, like a movie, even though it probably actually happens in half a second? Well, this was the slowest motion fall I've ever experienced... slower than Fractured Rib Day 2008. I actually heard Julie's voice in slow motion too. "OOooohhhh Nooooooo Chhrrriiiiissstiiiinnneeeeeee!". THUMP!!

I don't think I've ever made that vocal sound ever before today. It was like a barf sound and yelp at the same time. Peculiar. So I layed there for what seemed like forever, but was actually 10 seconds (needed to collect my pride... there was a middle aged woman biking by, oi!), and Julie helped me up. Yes! I'm covered in dirt on my whole right side! And now I am left with what I expect to soon be a lovely bruise on my right arm just below my shoulder, and a tender knee. Lucky for me I did not land on a rock... or face first in the ground or a tree! I also have a fairly high pain tolerance (which is good for injuries AND my job it seems!), and Julie was fairly impressed that I didn't cry, haha. It definitely hurts though.

Anyway, aside from the dangers of falling/tripping, and that one eerie night, trail running is one of my most favourite things that I have in my life. You're welcome to join me anytime :).

I am fairly passionate about running!

Week 6 - Adorable Children Make Up For Being Indoors

"You're nice, can I be your boyfriend?" (Jonathan... age 5)

What a CRAZY week!

It wasn't because of Jonathan whatsoever. To be sure, HE was the best part of my week indoors... and the week in general actually (save for Michael Buble, of course). Truly the sweetest little boy I have EVER met! If it wasn't illegal to put children in your backpack and take them home with you, I would have. Jonathan was one amazing kid.

I was unable to get in contact with Jonathan's mom over the weekend to chat about his profile and what to expect while he was in my care and, although that was a bummer, it seemed to be just fine. He was the most easy going, compliant, low maintenance camper I've had all summer (which was kind nice, considering it was week 6, and every camper I've had to date has physically, mentally, and emotionally drained me of virtually everything).

Jonathan was in "Stepping Stones", which is a camp program for kids between the ages of 4-7. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE working with younger kids? I'm surprised, I thought the ECE diploma said it all. Ok, well, I LOVE WORKING WITH KIDS THIS AGE! And what was especially great about it this week was that because Jonathan was so independent and integrated, I was able to talk to and get to know A LOT of the other kids in the program too! (I shall discuss my love for Dylan shortly ;).

Jonathan was a part of every aspect of Stepping Stones this week. Although he was VERY, VERY shy. All of day one was spent holding my hand and him having me do things in his place. But he was there with his group. Day two was much better in terms of getting him to participate in games and socializing. On Tuesday, he made great friends with another little boy named Dylan (who was a little mouse of a boy with the laugh of Alvin... as in the chipmunk. I LOVED HIM AND HIS CURLY BROWN HAIR!). The boys started saving seats for one another at circle times and on the bench while getting ready for swimming. By today they were having contests to see who could get changed into and out of their bathing suits faster, with the play-by-play provided by me. It was the sweetest relationship I've had the pleasure of first facilitating, and later watching develop.

Tuesday I saw Michael Buble! *SIGH*

Wednesday was a strange day all around (was it a full moon?). The energy in the kids was unable to be contained... They literally bounced off walls. The noise level was insane, the bickering out of control, the strange happenings strange, indeed. I could have just been tired from the night before, but it was all just too much, I thought. Not to mention the rushing from home to work in Burlington, to home again, to Burlington AGAIN for a staff meeting (which I didn't get home from until 10:30pm). I passed out virtually as soon as my head hit the pillow that night.

Thursday. Two days to go here. I was greatly looking forward to this week being over, but sad because I really loved Jonathan. If you read the blog written previous to this, you will know what I am talking about (no need to get into things again). I will say though, that I know WHY the problems of behaviour in the kids exist in that room, and I wasn't about to be bad cop and police all 35 of them myself. I was there for Jonathan. Thursday we swam with Brock during swim time. Brock had been singing the Bumble Bee song all day ("I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee..."), and eventually Jonathan caught on to this. They'd take turns being the baby bumble bee and I'd use them to do the actions as we swam in the pool. They both LOVED this, especially the part where I they got to sting me, haha! And the part where I used each of them as a broom to wipe up the "messy floor".

In the evening, I began marathon training. Energyless marathon training. I did surprisingly well, though. 86 days until Race Day. I'm crazy.

Friday. T-G-I-F INDEED! Amen to the end of driving on the stupid QEW and moving at a snails pace the entire way (and I only had to go to Walkers Line!). This week I learned that there is no amount of money worth the stress and aggravation produced from highway commuting. And it's summertime. I am very impatient in traffic!

Anyway, Friday at indoor camp is theme day (it's Wednesday's at Chippewa). Our theme this week was "Wild, Wild West", and I had a fairly good costume... I was the Sheriff. The badge was very authentic looking too, and I manged to convince several children that if they misbehaved today I'd have to put them in the slammer. Today was the best day behaviour-wise, haha ;). Jonathan did very well participating with his group for most activities, which I was so happy with because he doesn't really enjoy anything to do with sports, or being physically active in general. He also cut out his own cowboy boot craft! Today we swam among our friends, pretending to ride a magic carpet, which he'd fall off and I'd have to take him to the Water Hospital (where a bucket of water poured on the tummy was the magical cure). We shared a low key afternoon of stories and songs, and then it was time to say goodbye. One of the hardest things to do, I think, is to say goodbye to these kids. Jonathan was staying in extended care for an extra 45mins-1hr after camp ended, and I wasn't staying with him. Each day, including today, he'd watch with his cute, wide eyes as I left the room, with this look on his face like "where are you going?". On Tuesday he actually asked me "But who's going to take care of me?". Oh dear! I'LL TAKE YOU HOME WITH ME PUMPKIN! Guh... it's so hard. But he did really well playing with the kids in extended care, and that is probably most important. Jonathan made many friends this week. That's what he's going to remember. My job is done.

But although goodbyes are hard, I'm glad this week is over. It was just constant rushing around, stress, tiredness, and long. It will be nice to get back to my normal routine next week, and be back with my "family" at Chippewa. I think that place suits me best.

Next week: Rachel. I must figure out something for my hair quick... I like it and don't much want to see it all wrapped around her fingers, haha.

Kudos' of the week: (this is hard this week because I wasn't around anyone else from HH, except during the meeting on Wednesday)
1. To Katherine for getting Hasham in the canoe for the first time ever!
2. To Alicia for having a really successful week with Nolan downtown!
3. To Kylie for living through Laith's scratching.
4. To Michelle for making it to canoeing on time coming from swimming (I know how hard that is with a wheelchair!).
5. To everyone else for doing things I have no doubt were wonderful but I didn't hear about!

There's No Place Like Home... And Other Miscellaneous Ramblings

Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.


I am working at an indoor site this whole week. Tansley Woods in Burlington. Beautiful facility, amazing kids (especially my buttercup of a camper... GUH, I LOVE him already!).

The staff are nice, too. But I much more enjoyed the welcome of the kids than I did of the staff. Before even being introduced to the kids there, I was being asked if I could sit beside some particularly enthusiastic little friends who said I had pretty hair and my picture name tag was the best they've ever seen (Note: they are 5 years old. They haven't seen many pictures!). When introduced to the staff at the meeting before camp commenced, I got a few waves and one nod of a head (I wanted one of them to call me pretty and ask me to sit with them too. Or at least offer me a chair).It wasn't an ideal welcoming, and it didn't really ease the anxiousness I was feeling walking into a new program at this stage in the summer ("This stage" being week 6).

I had A LOT of fun with the kids today. Jonathan is an incredibly sweet young boy! And it's not that I felt EXcluded among the staff, but I just didn't necessarily feel INcluded.

I wonder how that phenomenon shift from childhood, where everyone's a friend, to adulthood, where backs are up to everyone who's not privileged enough to BE a friend, came to be?

Indoor sites rarely have Helping Hands campers, so it's not uncommon to be the only HH counselor when a special needs camper attends one of these camps. The position of the HH counselor during these weeks can be pretty lonely... No one else on staff really understands what you are doing for the HH camper or understands the disability as much as you do. What's more, you're walking into a program where the staff have already been working with one another for umpteen days, and have lots to gab about without extending the conversation to the new person. It's ok, and maybe that's what it's like when a supply comes up to fill in for one of us at Chippewa. I will say, though, that having been the person on the "new" side, I'm going to make a more conscious effort to include the person filling in or visiting more.

I MISSED EVERYONE AT CHIPPEWA SO MUCH TODAY! And I even missed melting, too. And swimming in brown water. And the bus. And the possibility of being able to wear my rain boots, because it DID rain, and really good too.... totally a rain boot worthy rain! GUH! I'm definitely looking forward to returning next week!

In alternative news....

I've been really happy lately (...despite the above rant, haha). I like it.

And I'm going to see Michael Bublé tomorrow!

Bah, it's going to be a hectic next couple days: Tomorrow: Work-Beautify-HurryToKylie's-HurryToGoStation-Concert-Home(orKylie's)-....SLEEP...; Wednesday: Work-FigureOutWhatToDo-StaffMeetingBackInBUrlington@7. Not looking forward to all the rushing around and gas usage. But sometimes good times with awesome friends are worth all that monetary, replaceable stuff. And I am certainly attending tomorrow's concert with some of the best friends I or anyone could ever ask for. As Dave Matthews says "Turns out not where but who you're with that really matters". True enough Davey. I love you girls, and I know I am very blessed to have you in my life <3 .

Yep, happy.

Week 5 - But why Christine, why? Why? Why? Where Christine? Where? But where? What Christine? Ewwwweee!

You don't like Troy. YOU DON'T? Why not, that's not very nice. Where is he? Where's Troy Christine? Where? But Where? You're a silly billy Christine, sometimes you are at home. Did Leah give you botox between your eyes, did she? What is daddy going to say if you don't eat your oranges, hmm??"

A short week according to the calender doesn't always mean the week will feel any shorter. Actually, "short" weeks usually feel longer, in my experience at least.

The Mona Lisa returned for her second week of Chippewa for week five. It was a very successful 3 days, and one 7 hour day of the best stubbornness I have ever had to work with.

Tuesday was fab. She stayed with her group the majority of the day, got all the way wet during swimming, allowed other friends to join us while canoeing, and she participated a fair bit in arts and crafts ("You don't love the polka dots on your flag, do you? Oh, you're nose is growing, you DO love them. Yeah") . Wednesday was a repeat, but this day Troy was on the mind. Not Troy from specialty camp, no no.... Troy Bolton. Of High School Musical fame. She came in with a Zach Efron poster from the movie 17 Again and perseverated on his sparkly blue eyes all day. "Where's Troy Christine? Is he in your bag? Yeeeess he is. What's he doing in there? Eating you lunch? You don't love Troy? OH NO, he's crying, you shouldn't have said that. What's daddy going to say now that you don't love Troy?? ("Phew" I bet ;).

Wednesday I also learned that Leah gave Lorena "Botox" between her eyes. This procedure is a very involved one requiring high-tech tools, such as tweezers which are used for removing tiny hairs from between the eyebrows. Also listed as "plucking" in the medical dictionary of aesthetic procedures. Anyway, she was very happy to tell anyone around her.

Thursday was also a super day (even though it DIDN'T rain as the weather people promised and I DIDN'T get to wear my rain boots. I was not pleased). She managed to make another flag and a beautifully stunning gimp and plastic beaded necklace as gifts for mummy and daddy.

Friday. Started out wonderfully. We made it to morning flagpole, and to the senior section divide. Not wanting to play football with our group (as expected!), we opted to make a birthday card for Kim's party to be held later in the afternoon. Yellow paper. CHECK. Markers. CHECK. Sparkles. CHECK. Ok let's start. ME: "How about I will write the words to Kim and you can trace over them, that would be really super work from you". Mona Lisa: "That would be soopur work, you can do that". ME: "Sweet, let's do this!"

45 minutes later.....

ME: Mona Lisa I've done all the words, made the cover with sparkles AND pipe cleaner flower, and you still haven't started the first letter.
Mona Lisa: "You're not going to do it? Why not? I don't know. I guess you don't want to go to the party at Crocadilly's tonight, do you? You don't like cake? That's ok you don't have to like it, even if it's chocolate".

Archery. Success. This is the part where she told me "When I'm a grown up I'm gonna have a tattoo of a snake on my bottom. Or Ariel."

Canoeing. Success.

Lunch.... Mona Lisa: "And you better eat your oranges today, what's daddy going to say if you throw them out again today like you did on Wednesday? He's going to say, bad girl, bad job. Are you going to eat them if Christine opens them??" *Christine opens fruit cup of mandarin oranges*................................................. 50 MINUTES PASS. *Christine throws fruit cup into the garbage. "Where's the oranges Christine, where? Where are they? They're in the garbage, why? Why Christine? Why? Uh oh.".

Maybe I was just particularly tired today. But there were definitely a lot of questions, haha.

Next week: Tansley Woods with a little button named Jonathan in stepping stones. I hear he's the kind of kid you want to mash up, spread on a cracker and just gobble up. I'm pretty excited!

Kudos' of the week:
1. To Farrah and Vanessa for doing well with Janine
2. To Alicia for handling Jasper's MEGA tantrum SUPER well on Thursday. You owned those bubbles!
3. To Kylie for averting medical crisis on Tuesday
4. To Me for getting Jon so super well in swimming. You now have a whole week to plot your inadequate revenge while I'm at Tansley
5. To Lindsay for being the best person for Wilson this week
6. To Discovery Channel for inventing Shark Week
7. To everyone who allowed me a moment to walk away and keep my brain from exploding from repeated question overload.

Comfort Cuts - Subjectively Speaking - Version Christine.Pastrak

(NOTE: This blog may have been written in order to prove that I can write about things other than camp and the kids I work with)

Music has some power over us as human beings. Certain pieces of music can enlighten our senses,and not just our auditory sense, but all of them: Auditory, visual, kinesthetic, taste, and balance . A certain piece of music can strongly affect our emotions, positively or negatively. When listening to certain classical pieces, a concerto for example, where there are three distinct movements of fast-slow-fast tempo, we can come to feel a variety of emotions within one single work. Even still, certain instruments can elicit unique thoughts or feelings from us, or even inspire us in some brilliant way.

Music can take us to different places, too. Sometimes to places we have loved very much and might do anything to return to. Other times the music can take us to places less desirable, yet remaining as an important part of our lives. Personally speaking, no matter how much I think about it, I cannot identify a single song I do not have some specific nostalgic connection to. Try it yourself....

I was listening to CBC Radio One last evening (I LOVE CBC Radio One!). I'm not sure what the show was because I do not normally listen to that program on Sunday nights. But last night I decided to turn on the radio for my bubble bath, and happened upon this program. Also, I tuned in with just a half hour or so left in the show, and didn't catch the title off the top of the hour. But I did catch the subject of the show... They were talking about music, specifically music that brought some kind of comfort to people. A totally, completely, 100% subjective topic, but it intrigued me very much. I became completely enthralled in what the selections were of the hosts and callers-in and people who e-mailed.

So what defines a "comfort cut"? As I said, it is a concept with very subjective guidelines. Some may select instrumentation as the defining criteria, others lyrics. Even more may say that a song which is comforting to them is one without lyrics whatsoever. Does one define music as comforting based on the singer's voice? Or on the memory attached to it? Maybe it's just the overall warmness or the feeling of safety we are filled with that defines a comfort cut. Perhaps most of all, the static existence of the songs we identify as comforting is what pulls us in. In a world of constant change and turbulence these songs stay the same. We can count of them. At any rate, I found myself considering my own criteria and subsequent list.

My "criteria" for a comfort cut is something very schizophrenic-esque. What does that mean? I have no idea. I think what I mean is that my taste is sometimes here sometimes there. For instance, I find tremendous comfort in classical music, specifically that of impressionist composer Claude Debussy. A bit of background: impressionist music (in the early 20th century following the Romantic era, and correlated with the impressionist movement in visual arts) served the intention of creating an entire visual place(that is, visual in one's own mind)around the listener as the music unraveled. The music creates a profoundly vivid image in the listener's mind, even without the assistance of actual visual demonstrations. Take the piece "L'après-midi d'un faune" as an example... If you decide to close your eyes while listening to this piece, you can vividly see a faun in a luscious green, sunlit forrest. At least I can.



Debussy was considered a pioneer in impressionist composing because he was one of two (the other being Ravel [you've likely heard Ravel's "Caravan" before if you've ever seen any movie where animals are walking on to an arch by two's]) who embraced the movement and produced some of the best pieces of this era. So many of Debussy's pieces create an entirely new world for me, to which I can escape my current realm of worry or business and just exist in their fictional Eden (although the concept of "fictional" may be a blog subject of it's own, because my feeling is that we're escaping to places we already know and find comfort in themselves, but it has also happened that certain pieces conjure up images we have never experienced in real life before).

The music of other classical composers also tends to warm me. Handel's "Sarabande", Beethoven's "Eroica Symphony", Vivaldi's "Four Season's" and "Devils Trill Sonata" all do it for me. The music of Dvorjak is also spectacularly comforting, in particular his "New World Symphony" (even more in particular the 4th movement)). My classical comfort zone seems to be infinite at times, but that isn't where my comfort cuts begin and end....

I have A LOT of favourite music. Actually, I think "A LOT" is slightly understating it, but there's not really a word or phrase listed in my thesaurus that accurately captures what I mean. My first true musical love was and still is Sarah Brightman. What is comforting about her music? To me, it's her voice, subject matter, and the sheer beauty through which she tells the stories in her songs. I discovered her music during a time that wasn't the greatest for me and, at the time, found enormous comfort in everything I gained through her music. It relaxed me. It inspired me. It brought me happiness through the listening experience. And it's interesting to me that even though that bumpy time has passed, I still go back to the same music. Why? Maybe because it hasn't changed, even though I have. Maybe because, although the connection to those songs isn't the happiest from my life at the time, I can look back and recognize what I overcame. Maybe, now, those songs, which were always the same every time I listened to them, represent the change I went through. In many ways, they represent me. That's very cool. And very comforting. "This Love" is my most favourite Sarah Brightman song:



Acoustic music is also comforting to me. The music of the Dave Matthews Band is number one. It's Dave's voice, the sentiment and attachment I have to his music and the words he so eloquently takes from my head and expresses. It's the richness in the sound and quality of his music. And the overwhelming romanticism he portrays in his work is incomparably stunning. His voice is safe to me. His words inspiring. His vision of the world beautiful. But DMB is just one (albeit very large) facet of the acoustic pull. There is a large repertoire of acoustic music on both my laptop and desktop computers by artists both largely successful and some of whom are simply friends of mine. Acoustic music + Christine = love. "Crash Into Me" is my very most favourite DMB song (and how wonderful that he played it at the concert on June 1st. I <3 YOU DAVEY!).



Sometimes, though, I don't think a comfort cut has to be some song/piece from our past. I think it can also come to be a contemporary work that just makes us feel safe, or maybe a new song that reminds us of a particularly good time or moment. New music is constantly being produced and played on radio stations, released on iTunes, or played in local clubs.

And then I thought, I should attempt to list all the music I identify as a "comfort cut". I find the task a great challenge because it is a list which is constantly evolving as new music eventually becomes "old" (read: safe/comforting), and as I mature and evolve in my own skin. It includes all of what I have mentioned above and much, MUCH more. And anyway, if you've actually read this, to the end, I'm sure you're begging for it to be done. So I'll end it. But if you have any comfort cuts of your own, please share them along with your rationale :).

I think, if I decide to write another blog on the subject of music, it is going to be about guilty pleasures. Yes, that would be fun.