2 weeks and no new writings in here = embarrassing. My apologies, but life has truly been bananas for me lately! I've also been keeping a low "online presence" lately for the betterment of my own mental health... I'll discuss that later on though.

In Running News:
Around the Bay/ Mississauga Marathon training is going really well now, post-ankle post-shin somethingorother injury. Back in January I was given some amazing trail running shoes (Brooks Cascadia) which are primo for running in the snow. Trail shoes are like snow tires for your feet in winter weather, the grip is 20x's better. The problem rests in the fact that trail shoes are not fit to a runner's pronation (i.e. does your foot roll in when you step, flex out, or stay neutral). I have an over pronated step, which requires that I wear a stability shoe. My first run in the Cascadia's was an 18km trek through a blustery, snowy January morning, which was too much mileage too soon in new shoes. The result was some muscle tears in my left inside ankle, and some shin splints on my right leg. They have FINALLY poofed into nothingness as of this past week, but only after hour upon hour of icing, a couple skipped speed work sessions, and one missed long run. I was good in time to race the Grimsby Half Marathon last Sunday. That race was absolutely STUPID! It had unexpectedly snowed the night before, dropping a decent 10ish centimeters. Many of the streets the course follows were not plowed or salted enough for stable footing, NOT TO MENTION the bit through the orchards along the lake through Grimsby. That portion of the race was like riding that gear on your bike where you pedal and pedal and pedal but don't move anywhere! I got so mad that I actually said "Fuck it!" out loud, and told Breeann to keep going without me, I had to walk. I wasted so much energy in that section, I lost a good couple minutes. But, as much as I struggled, the temperature was perfect, and my time ended up being 2hrs 2mins. Not my fastest half-marathon, but certainly not my slowest. And all things considered (my attitude mostly, and the footing), I was fairly pleased with the end results. This week's long run was a very rainy and very windy 25km to King Rd. from the Den and back. This coming Saturday we'll put in 28km, then taper. Around the Bay is in 3 weeks. I hope my body stays on the high roads until then.

In Contest News:
Back in February I received an email from Reach for the Rainbow telling me that I had won a contest they held. The contest was to submit a story or photograph of an experience you shared with a RFTR camper. I chose to submit a story I wrote about in this blog back in July 2010 ("This is what happened on the Baby Blackbirds Bus on the way home from camp today"). I have no idea as to how many submissions were received, but I do know that I was among 3 winners whose entries will be published in the RFTR spring magazine this year, in addition to 2 court side Raptors tickets (I think I was the only one to win the Raptors tickets). So, holler for being published! I took my dad to the Raptors vs. Phoenix Suns game last Friday, and we loved it. Steve Nash is my new favourite athlete to love and potentially online stalk. The man is basketball royalty, so quick, swift, skilled, handsome, and CANADIAN! It was my dad's first time in the ACC... he was beside himself. It was neat that I could be the one to bring him to a place he's always wanted to go, to watch a team he watches religiously. He got nachos, I got this to die for popcorn with M&M's and drizzled in chocolate (YUM MUCH?!) and we didn't get mixed up with the GO Train. A great success if there ever was one. Oh, and Vince Carter was like 2 feet away from us at the very end. Cool.

In School News:
I was at Parkview for the month of February filling in for Jag as he enjoyed his parental leave for the birth of his beautiful, handsome son, Navtaj. It makes me so happy working there. I really look forward to seeing the kids each and every day, hearing about what they did the night before (actually... sometimes I hear things I don't like too much at all), sharing things about my own life with them, and teaching them where I can, be it in school work, or just in life in general. I had grade 10 woodworking first period (turns out I can actually do some of that stuff!), senior auto (a class of ALL BOYS, and me not knowing a whole lot about the internal functions of cars. But it worked out extremely well... swearing decreased by 65% with me being in the room! [Since Jag's return, though, swearing has increased by 200%, as reported to me by Cody Bernard on Thursday. "Miss you gotta come back, it's filthy in there with out you"). 3rd period saw me in resource helping an amazing bunch of grade 12 students mostly, with stragglers here and there who'd come down to work there if they knew I was the EA in the room. I loved every kid who came in. Period 4 was woodworking again, this time for grade 9 shop rounds. It was by far the MOST challenging group on my schedule. Girl drama coming out of the wazoo (I can't take that!). But I developed such a fabulous rapport with several students, mainly Zack. He made me several wonderful gifts, among them a single drum stick, a block of wood painted red (he was practicing his jig saw skills), a lemon shaped and coloured smiley face (face chizzled in with a hammer and chizzle), and two rocks (actually, one limestone piece, and one clay piece he found on his way to school on Wednesday). The staff I worked with throughout the month were also amazing. I miss all of it already. SO much.

Still on the Parkview note, while talking with Dan Pauls at the Westdale Runner's Den Store about shoes and asking if it were possible that if he had extras from those donated by the runner's at his store, could Parkview be able to snatch a couple pairs? Well, he gave more than a couple... to be sure, an entire box and an enormous bag FULL of both mens and womens athletic shoes. I was floored. This meant that more than a couple students would have decent shoes on their feet. Everyone and Anyone looking for athletic shoes or clothing should absolutely go to the Runner's Den Hamilton! They support SO many in our community through the Road 2 Hope race, and donations such as this to Parkview. Let's keep them in business and show our support back.

Ok, a little less happy but not so terrible (let's say neutral) news now....

So it's no secret to anyone who might read this that I have an anxiety disorder. Generalized Anxiety Disorder to be exact, with one bit of panic disorder, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. If you didn't know this, you would have in time, so no worries (ha, no pun intended ;). Within the last couple months, I've sought assistance from a counselor trained to help those with anxiety disorders to deal with their challenges (cognitive behaviour therapy [CBT]). Many of the BILLION things I worry about stem from things seen or read online, in particular Facebook. So in working with Gloria, I've come to work at not being online very much at all anymore. I'm rarely on msn these days, I limit my Facebook time to 25-30mins max (sadly it's still a great source of communication with those I can't talk to any other way), and mainly just check my e-mail. So far, it has been a positive thing for me, although it would be better if I was just completely off it altogether. I guess the main thing is I have someone trained in anxiety to help me now. This is too much for me to handle alone. The things I worry about you might say are absolutely ridiculous and, granted, some of them are. There just doesn't seem to be an end to the list of items I worry about (some including all of the above: time (i.e. being on time, how much time is left, etc), the health of our oceans and how it's connected to ALL other living things on Earth, my retirement, poverty in Hamilton, money and my financial viability, what I am going to eat, my students and how I can help them better, my death, my family's health (physically and dynamics), getting into school, once out of school having success finding a teaching job,.... just a glimpse for you). I hope that talking about these things with a 3rd party will help (sure is a lot better than any pill). A cure would still be better, though (and it would save my dental bill, considering all the teeth grinding/clutching my jaw, and ease my constantly active tummy).

Ok, I'm due for a shower. I've had an exhausting weekend, between that awful run, a crazy shift Saturday night, a boring shift today, and now the regular week is about to begin. I'm going to be at least 2 inches taller with all the directions I'm being pulled in lately. I better let my hem's down.

(Hi Jen! Thanks for reading! :)