I'm sitting in my backyard right now, enjoying some summery heat and a beautiful breeze. I have a big backyard with lots of grass, and it's neat to watch the breeze make it's way from one end to the other, like a traveling wave across a grassy ocean. Suddenly I can notice individual blades fluttering on the ground, but just a moment ago they were one unified blanket of green. Birds are chirping their evening songs, and barbeques send delicious scents through neighboring backyards into mine. This is a perfect conclusion to an extremely busy week.
This scene never changes from year to year. I have sat in this exact same spot many times in my life, watching the grass, listening to the birds, and smelling the barbeques, and it remains a comforting constant. It's almost like time has stood still.... this replica of the year before has come back to please me and remind me that no matter what happens in a year, some things are always the same.
I have been home from South Africa for a little more than two weeks now. While I was away it felt like I was there for much longer than I was, but once I returned home it was like I didn't even go. Everything here was exactly how I left it, yet still.... some things were different. Integrating back into my regular life has proven to be more challenging than I thought it would be. I mean, it hasn't been difficult or impossible by any means, but just not as easy as I imagined. I have happily shared my stories with those who have asked to hear them, and it has been wonderful to relive my African experiences with them. And still there's people I value very much in my life who haven't made even the smallest peep to me since my return. I don't like how some people think they know what's "good" for you, because really, you know yourself better than anyone else. You will never get into the heads and thinking of anyone but yourself, and I find the concept of doing so an utter waste of precious time. So, although I miss people and wish we could share fun times together again, I can only say that I am not going to sit idle and wait for it. Because, in three words: Life Goes On. It keeps moving forward, and it doesn't wait for anyone to be ready. And if people are to be in one anothers lives, in whatever capacity.... eventually they will be.
What am I doing for the summer? I can't answer this.
But I'm working at Glenwood until the end of the year. A surprise LTO I never thought I'd get so close to the end of school. Things here are different too, but exactly the same. How is that possible? It just is. I am in love with my 4 behaviour students... each one is so brilliant in a different way than anyone else I have met in my life. They are all non-verbal autistic, they are all developmentally delayed, they are all deficient in communication, they are all VERY strong and could clock me with the flick of their fingers. But I love them for teaching me, which is more than I deserve.
And now I'm sitting here, outside, in the half dark of the evening. The birds are quieting, the breeze is cooling, my tea is steeping in my cup. I love this kind of an evening. It's quiet and lovely. I love my life, for all the ups and downs and twists and turns. As much as some things change or disappoint me, I know everything is going to be fine. It might be different, but it will be fine.
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