Be the kind of person you would like to meet

"Who are you?", said the caterpillar.  "I-I hardly know, Sir, just at present- At least I knew who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I have changed several times since then."
- Lewis Caroll, Alice in Wonderland

It's funny how you can never really notice change until you get so far into it that you can't help but stop and take stalk.  Every day you live your life in what feels the same way, yet over a period of time - days, weeks, months - suddenly everything can seem so very different.

I was thinking about this upon my return from South Africa.  Not just my being of pre- and post-trip, but over the last several years in general. 

Admittedly, I have been known as a person who does not like change.  I blame my dependency on predictability.  But really, who doesn't like feeling comfortable, safe, in control?  You know you do.    All throughout my life, I have really only done things that I know I will have success with, or things that didn't scare me - school, particular jobs, staying put.  Hardly exciting.

And I lived this way up until fairly recently.  That is, until I realized that, although I was educating myself and involved in a lot of things here, as a person I was going nowhere.  This year in teachers  college (... sorry... at my "Faculty of Education"... NO ONE calls it that!....) I encountered a quote that has resonated with me ever since I read it for the first time: "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone".  And oh my gawd... suddenly something in me just clicked!

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.  IT DOES!  Life is NOT sitting in the same place, doing the same things, never challenging yourself.  Life is not limiting yourself.  Life is NOT being content with mediocrity.  But, once you can find the courage to step even just one step further, beyond the boundary of your safety spot, and try something new, even though it may be uncomfortable.....  Even if you stumble on this extra step, even if you hate it, even if you vow to never do it again, it was the greatest step you'll have taken.  Because in taking it, you have grown.  You have learned something about yourself or the world.  You have opened your mind and a door.

And although subconsciously, ever since learning of this mantra, I have been different.  I have challenged myself in both big ways and small, to step outside of my comfort zone and into the unknown, the uncomfortable, the "unsafe", the unpredictable, the different.  But it may not have looked like I was to anyone I know, especially if I barely noticed myself.

In South Africa I made deliberate attempts to achieve growth.  I faced fears and anxieties I have had my entire life.  And on the other side of things, looking back at the trip and even as far as this last year....  I have come to recognize remarkable changes within myself.  The Christine you know today is a drastically different person from the Christine you would have known 5 years ago.  I didn't notice my selfvolution as it was happening, but it happened.

I read another quote at some point over this year that goes like this: "Be the kind of person you would like to meet".  I want to be a person who has seen and experienced life and the world.  A person who has passions and who is willing to share them with others.  A person who is fit and healthy.  A person who cares about the world and humanity.  A person who is happy.  I think I am well underway to achieving all of this.

I do not believe people think hard enough about who they really are.   I think most people go along with the status quo in defining themselves, by liking certain clothing trends, tv shows, music... anything.  It's so easy to let someone else think for you.  But if you let that happen, you miss a whole other identity within you that only YOU can know.  Like what you really believe about things in the world: religion, politics, humanity, social phenomena, ANYTHING other than the superficial.  It's not easy.  And it's sad that the average person knows more about the lives of Hollywood celebrities than they do about themselves.

I am proud to say that I know myself more than thoroughly, even as I change and evolve as a person from day to day.  I think it a rare thing in this day, so I feel privileged to have that.  Today as I was enjoying some post-long run coffee at the Second Cup with my running mates, one of them described me as a "strong-willed, determined young lady... not just in running but in life, too".  5 years ago, I would have disagreed completely.  Today, I agree 100%.  I hope that doesn't make me sound full of myself, but looking back at my life I can without a doubt say that I have persevered through and overcome A LOT of shitty times.  I love the person I am today, and I would never change a single thing about anything I have been through or experienced in my life.  If I did change parts of my life, I fear I would not have many of the wonderful things I have now because of my struggles.  Everything you experience in your life leads you down paths, to places and people you were meant to meet.  I believe this.  And the places I have been and people I have met a long my paths have all been significant to me, influencing my identity even further.  And each day brings a new place and a new person... and changes in me because of them, which I may not even recognize until some time down the road.

I'm trying to think of a point to this blog.....

Let change happen to you.  Try new things.  Leave your comfort zone.  Take a risk.

The feeling is incredible.