In boredom the other evening, I set out on the aimless plan to complete a silly survey I came across on a friend's profile. Everything was going well as I answered the typical, predictable questions often included in these types of time-wasters.... "pepsi or coke?"; "early bird or night hawk", "what do you notice first in the opposite sex", and so on. THEN I came to a question I had never seen before. Number 8 on this survey was a surprise to me, and it was the kind of question I thought required more analysis or consideration than the usual half or one second it took to answer the others. Number 8 read:
"8. What do you think about guys who wear eyeliner?"
I think on a superficial level most people would simply remark on either one of two possible ways to answer this question. First, they may say a guy who wears eyeliner is simply "EMO". Or second, they may say a guy who wears eyeliner is "gay". Then they'd move on to number 9: "One night stand or relationship?"
But me being me (I'm considering changing my middle name from "Elizabeth" to "Analytical"), I couldn't get over number 8 so easily. My sociology background is worth nothing if I don't share my thoughts on this case of "questionable" gendered behaviour. And so, I have successfully composed this rant. I don't really care if anyone reads it. If you have an open mind about gendered behaviour, you may find it interesting, and agree or disagree with some of my points (and i welcome your submission of any ideas you have yourself :). But at least you've got a mind open enough to hear the arguments. If, on the other hand, you have a very rigid view of male and female behaviour and gendered expectations, you will most likely not read this. You might disagree with what I have to say. And that's sad shit for you for being closed to diversity in a very diverse world. To which I wish you good luck that you are so acceptable to the diverse society that you refuse to accept, yet want to accept you ;).
Ok, so, guys and eyeliner. What do I really think about this? .....
The advertising industry is a remarkably powerful institution in society, which sells every single person made subject to it's powers a WIDE ARRAY of insecurities. Insecurities for sale range from covering "unsightly blemishes", to weight control, to having plump enough lips, to wearing a certain style/ brand of shoes/pants/skirts/shirts, to telling families that only quality time can be spent at a particular restaurant/hotel/theme park/ vacation getaway, to saying your loved ones are only safe in a particular vehicle, to displaying mothers who are able to both run a law firm and still raise their six children ("supermoms"; why can't you do this?!), to fathers who are big and strong and make tons of money at their high power executive jobs (thereby making factory workers, custodians, male teachers, male nurses, etc, somehow inadequate), to telling people their house will never be truly clean unless they use a particular cleaning product......... I could go on forever, and with the fake super-happy smile each of the people in these ads display if I have to :D.
Some (but not all people) may argue that girls are perhaps the hardest hit in many of advertising's aims. After all, basic and traditional gender expectations TELL us it is girls who are the ones to spend the most on such commodities as fashions and makeup, it is mothers who are presumed to consider at more length the quality and effectiveness of particular cleaning products, and who drive their children to school more often, team sports games, or wherever (thus they'd really need that super safe car to transport everyone with). But what I think is most detrimental is advertising's aims at young girls appearance. They (who ARE they?) tell girls and women they are inadequate on the basis of their weight, clothing choices, makeup selections, and the like. Girls are told to add colour here, lift something else over there, or to enhance that little part right here. AND WE DO! I am not afraid to admit that I am not immune to the silliness sold to me through advertising. I have bought the creams, the shampoos, the weight loss gimmicks. I have believed that I am the inadequate girl they tell me I am in pointing out that I do not look like the toned, seductive girl in the La Senza ad. I have believed I am the inadequate girl they tell me I am when they remind me I do not have the silky smooth skin like the girl in the Nivea commercial. I have believed I am the inadequate girl they tell me I am when they simply show a girl in an add who displays a particular slimness. Some people may think nothing of these sights, and believe they have little affect on how they perceive themselves and what they buy, but I assure you, it DOES have an affect. And it is my belief that to disagree with this statement means you are in denial (think about it: you are affected simply by saying you are not affected and doing things to defy that which advertising sells!). And that sucks for you :).
Recently, though, it has not only been girls who have been mass targeted and sold products that will take away all their "flaws". Boys and men, too, have been inundated with the wholesale marketing of anxieties about themselves. More and more, boys and men are being told that they have to have this diameter of biceps, they have to have this size chest range, they have to be able to play every sport on television (for only the televised ones, like football, baseball, basketball, hockey and soccer are those which allow a man to display his machismo to his fullest capabilities!). And if you are not going to measure up to these UNREALISTIC! male physical expectations, you had better be so bad-ass that you compensate in other ways! No pressure though. We'll only ostracize ya.
Ok, I think I went on a bit of a tangent there. I've been known to do that when something bugs me like that. BUT, back to guys and eyeliner.....
As I said, girls and women are sold anxieties about their appearance by being told to enhance, or cover up, or eliminate all together certain aspects of their bodies.
And, as I said, more and more, boys and men are becoming greater subjects to the commodification of their bodies and appearance.
We are told day after day about how a guy or a girl should look (well, according to how the infamous "THEY" think guys and girls should look ;). Actually, we are told from the minute we are born how to behave as a boy or a girl. We either come home in a pink or blue blanket, with a gender specific name (somehow, those gender ambiguous names confuse us so! humph, it just isn't fair! and those poor children! what will happen to them??). Girls are told to be pretty and petite, play with our tea seats and Barbies and to shut up. Boys have so much fun in rough and tumble play, get all dirty outside, and told not to cry or show any emotion (no, no son... that would mean you're *gasp!* feminine!). BULL.SHIT.
And so, if you are told from day one that a girl behaves this way and a boy behaves that way, to be witness to ANY deviation of this accepted norm" (WHICH BY THE WAY DOES NOT TRULY EXIST ;) freaks us out!
I have considered this next idea of mine for a long time. A lot of the time, although I am aware I am only told I am "inadequate" by people who want me to buy their product, I admit that wearing make up over my "unsightly blemishes" does contribute to at least a little higher self-esteem. My "flaws" really can become that much less noticeable. And for girls, this is a-ok! But guys. Don't they get "unsightly blemishes". Are guys somehow inhuman? (actually, I kinda wish this was true..... it would explain my inability to comprehend anything they do). Why wouldn't they want to cover up that which defines girls as "ugly", too? Eyeliner can enhance a girls eyes. I can say that I do notice a difference in the blueness of my own eyes with and without eyeliner. Why would a guy not want to enhance his own blue/green/brown? WHY IS THIS SO STUPID? If a guy wants to wear makeup, in the case of this note, number 8: what do you think of guys who wear eyeliner?, I say: whatever! good for them! If that is what a person feels will make them feel better about themselves, go for it! (but again, make them feel better about themselves only because they are made to feel somehow inadequate). It doesn't necessarily mean he's gay, it doesn't necessarily mean he is emo. Maybe this guy is one or both of those two possibilities. BUT, maybe, juuuuuuuuuuuuust maybe, he likes the way it makes his eyes or face look?
WE ARE ONLY SCARED BECAUSE FROM DAY ONE WE ARE BRAINWASHED INTO BELIEVING VERY RIGID GENDERED EXPECTATIONS! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
Women can cross gender lines MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH easier than men can. Today, a woman can put on coveralls and become a mechanic. More and more women are entering the engineering and business fields. Fuck, they can even run for the American presidency! (although, in doing so she is named a "battle axe", "bitch", or other ridiculous names. whether you agree with Hillary Clinton's agenda or not, you must admit she has done remarkable things for women in leadership!). And we typically applaud the women who are able to cross into more masculine territory. HOWEVER, when men cross over into the "Land of Women", when men demonstrate an interest in feminine things, they are immediately branded "Gay". THAT IS RIDICULOUS! SO THE FUCK WHAT if they like fashion, makeup, hair, art, working with children, whatever. And then these men, gay or not (sexuality doesn't matter!), are completely mistreated in society. They are the butt of jokes and devalued by many.
What makes me mad is that people do not value what others have to offer on their inside! A guy wears eyeliner. People accept what they have come to associate with the eyeliner'd guy image. But they do not know that Mr. Eyeliner (he prefers Maybeline by the way) wants to help change the world in very positive ways. And they might not because they take one look, judge, and then move along.
Awesome. There's a whole world of people out there who are looked at, judged, and walked passed because they look a certain way, or display particular behaviours (there's a line in a DMB song "Typical Situation" that goes: "Why are you different? Why are you that way? If you don't get in line we'll lock you away.... it all comes down to nothing". And that's why Mr. Matthews is awesome)
And it makes me really mad.
P.S.: David Beckham also wears mascara.
Anyway, that's what I thought about on Tuesday.
So what's your opinion of guys who wear eyeliner?
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